So yes, he did give us something to talk about, but luckily for us none of it was positive.
To say that he is the worst contestant left is an understatement the size of Dolly Parton’s boobs (there’s a country music reference for you). But that’s just fine with me. The worse he does the more the victory becomes sweet.
I’ll close this post with a little encouragement. Simon is really pissed. He can barely sit in his chair. Our little joke isn’t funny to them anymore…PERFECT!!!
Last week Sanjaya came out speaking another language. What was he really saying? Well, I’m no expert (I really am…just being modest) but based on the overwhelming evidence (see pic) we’ve got the real scoop.
So while most thought he was singing smooth latin lyrics he was really recalling his accolades with Paula…cause she’s got to be getting with one of the contestant’s right?
So if you were one of the people who were memorized by his performance last week and wondered if he might actually be legit then don’t worry, People magazine was also duped into thinking that he was flirting.
All in all, we’ve got to keep the votes going tonight. Check back for a recap!
Its official, talent has nothing to do with who stays and who goes (thank God, else Sanjaya would have been gone a long time ago).
Today I’m going to write a little something for all my high school and college readers. Whether you are enjoying your time in school or not, listen up as I have some valuable advice for you. Take a quick look at all of the people around you. Look at how they all fall into their separate cliques. Do a quick inventory check of where you fit in and where you don’t. Now just accept that this is pretty much how it is going to be for the rest of your lives.
As sad as it may sound, the pretty cheerleaders will get the football players and if you have a streak of dyed hair and/or a tongue ring then you can just expect to get shunned by society at large. Also, stop thinking that your hair, tattoos (especially some Japanese word), piercings, whatever make you different. Any time there is an entire category that describes you “alternative” then you aren’t doing anything new or different. You’re still just following the crowd, but with one exception. You won’t be able to win American Idol.
Haley Scarnato may not be a good singer but she ain’t dumb. Expect her skirts to get shorter, tops more revealing and general “bouncing” to steadily increase as the competition goes on. In fact, I predict that if she does make it to the finals her nationally televised on stage performance will rival the scandalousness of Antonella Barba’s little soft core fiasco.
Well since this is a popularity contest, lets help keep our little joke of voting the ugly chick as prom queen going…
There is no doubt that Sanjaya is getting some press. Simon has become so frustrated that he doesn’t know what to do. Now, the executive producers have even started weighing in on the situation.
“There is very little hype anybody can do to affect the vast numbers of votes we get. The fact of the matter is, if someone on the show is getting attention, it really doesn’t bother me. He’s still there, and a lot about this business is keeping people interested. Say what you want about Sanjaya, he hasn’t a bad voice. Personally, I don’t expect him to be there in the end. But it’s not up to me, it’s up to the public.”
- Ken Warwick (American Idol executive producer) talking about Sanjaya
Well to you Mr. Warwick I say “we’ll see you in the finals.” People, we are truly making an impact. But we must not lose our resolve. They are very scared about how much we are able to impact the results as that is why we’ve got to keep on truckin.
You can read the story here, but basically he just calls him gay and then nicknames him “Sangina” which if you ask me is pretty funny.
Despite all of the endorsements that our man/boy Sanjaya gets, you’ve still got to look deep within and ask yourself “does he really suck THAT bad?” If you can honestly answer yes to that question, then you know what you’ve got to do. Vote to keep this abomination going…all the way to victory.
Check back here tonight for the number to call to keep the dream alive.
Its been touched on before that the voting could be rigged, and today we’ve stumbled across another such conspiracy. I guess some people have downplayed our efforts to bring Idol down under its own weight, and will stop at nothing to prove that cheating is the only way someone who sucks as bad as Sanjaya can continue to prance around on the grand stage that is American Idol.
Frankly I don’t care what has to happen to keep this dream alive. If its takes calling Dell tech support just to remind them that Simon thinks Blake Lewis is the best guy then I’ll gladly sit though my estimated 15 minute wait in hopes that I tick off the right person.
But despite my commitment to our cause I have a greater responsibility. I am bound to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. That said, I feel obligated to inform my viewers of any news or controversy concerning Sanjaya.
So what is this fraud that I speak of? Nope, its not Indian call centers this time (although I still make my aforementioned calls…just in case). But scarily enough these pop-culture terrorist are housed close than you think, but you’ll have to read the article to get all of the horrifying details. Where does this earth shatter report come from and why should we believe what they have to say? Well it comes again from a group of hard working investigative reporters that stop at nothing to bring to light any injustice in our society. They have uncovered such bombshells as the real results of the Anna Nicole Smith paternity test and were also the first to report on the naked pictures of Harry Potter. So you can clearly see that their reputation is sterling and that this is not something to scoff at.
So for everyone reading this, please lets not take a chance this week. Lets up our efforts and make sure that WE are the cause of Sanjaya’s staying power, not some hoser up in Canada (oops, hope that didn’t ruin the story).
Well, now that the week is almost over we have nothing better to do than try to garner more support for Sanjaya. Despite our tireless efforts dedicated to that cause, we thought it only fitting to give a proper farewell to someone who also had potential to suck enough to warrant our support. Yep, thats right, I’m talking about Chris Sligh.
It was somewhat a sad day for me when you left. As there isn’t anyone left who will stand up to that big bad Simon and make sly nay “sligh” remarks, directly to his face. And for that we salute you. Not really…just giving lip service.
You kicked off your idol career with an instant classic response to why you wanted to be on American Idol…to make David Hasselhoff cry. Well, you didn’t make it all the way and the spotlight will soon fade on your ridiculous white fro, but we thought it would be a nice parting gift for us to at least host the video of “The Hoff” crying.
Chris Sligh, this is for you.
Yep, only in American can someone this ugly and with so little skill grace the presence of not just a nationally televised primetime show, but also (and more importantly) a high profile website such as the one you are reading.
Chris Sligh, you have truly beaten the odds and helped us to always remember to “keep the faith”
After Sanjaya’s last performance sucking so horrifically and he STILL wasn’t in the bottom three, you’ve gotta feel good about our chances for taking this all the way!
Not even in the bottom three! Great job with all the votes. Yet again the results show was a complete waste of time. Come back for a witty recap tomorrow morning.
P.S. I found this at one of our most loyal and devoted followers, Meghan Paul. She is still in denial of her hatred toward Idol, but at least she is down with making fun of Sanjaya.
